I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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