So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I wish i was in the wii world.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
