This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
