And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
