somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Randomize
