His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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