It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
i drank out of a bidet.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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