then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
vagina is talking i cant
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
