i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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