Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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