They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
