Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Randomize