I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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