oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
The beer is more important than you right now.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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