Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize
