The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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