Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
