Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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