Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I can't turn off my feet"
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I want a musical about memes.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
