Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
