We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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