check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
