its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
