Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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