All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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