i always forget guys have bellybuttons
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
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