he shaved USA in his pubs
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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