Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
You have to summon your inner elephant
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
