You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
