Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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