i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Even my vagina gasped.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
