can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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