You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
