I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
