I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Randomize
