Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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