why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
