How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
