found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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