no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
