Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize