Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
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