Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
