Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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