I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
