theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Randomize
