I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Damn victory sex feels great
Do you have feelings for this penis?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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