My first STD was from a foam party
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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