i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
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