If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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